21 - Sunday

Yesterday I had a blast at paintball, even though it rained the entire time. This is probably TMI, but my overdrugging myself only took the edge off, and did not cure everything completely like i hoped it would, but I overcame those struggles and had fun anyway. I've been using the always infinity for protection, and carried a few of their freshening wipes they have now just in case. definitely made me feel more secure during the game. I just can't bring myself to wear the official adult protective stuff -- besides, most of that seems designed for different issues, not IBD.

I’m gonna have repercussions now for what I did to myself with medicine, so I had to wring every last bit of fun out of the moment to make the next few days worth it. I always have some immodium aftershocks, and between the saturday wedding and taking a megadose yesterday with a nulev chaser, i expect my body to bring the pain.

Foodwise, I took some risks but hopefully not too bad. yogurt for breakfast, an orange and 2 slim jims for lunch during the day, dinner was shrimp and scallop scampi with asparagus. it was served over rice, so I probs ate a few grains, but whatevs. also had cream of crab soup, which was sooo good! there were things in it that looked like noodles, but also coulda been pieces of crab or imitation crab, so since it was impossible for me to tell and they were yummy, i ate them. i know scd works best with fanatical adherence, but I can't maintain that level. I hope my 85-95 percent rule works out. I'm not gonna drive myself and everyone around me crazy 24-7. Control what I can, whenever I can, as much as I can, but accept what I cannot control. I'm not gonna refuse food because it's not perfect, but I'll try to get as close to perfect as possible.