flagyl sucks

i always wondered before who those people were who stop taking their antibiotics before they finish the bottle. like, who would pay for a med and not take them? now that i'm taking flagyl, i understand. this stuff SUCKS!!! i wish someone could show me a positive test for something so I can say, oh yeah, I need to be going through this right now. instead of how i feel which is, yeah, you tested negative, but take this awful poison just in case. fuck/

i was sick sick bfore, bad enough to get scared and go to the hospital. and i had never given in and gone to the hospital for UC before. i'm the most anti-hospital person out there. the only time i've gone to the ER is when i blacked out at work, and kinda had to. usually, i'm the visitor/driver of the ER patient. my UC hospitalization was accdental -- i think my husband and GI doc conspired to trick me ;) -- they told me to go to the hospital for a stool sample since the turnaround at the quest lab was too long, found acute pancreatitis and kept me for a few days. i woulda been happy to stay except for the problems sleeping with the IV, the nurses that hurt me during BG readings, and that they really couldn't do anything for me besides gimme dilaudid. it was nice not having to figure out what to eat, and the bed was comfy and i was resigned to relaxing, not feeling like i should be cleaning up around the house or going to work. happy though, because without those couple days, i might still be trying to treat myself with diet and meditation instead of drugs.

THIS IS FUCKING WORSE! i take zofran for anti-nausea, and i took it 3 hours ago, and it's not working right now. why does stuff stop working at 4 am? i'm not sure i can go through another week of this. i want to flush the rest of the pills and pretend i'm still taking them. the side effects are worse than the uc. i guess if i could just lay around the house all day and take it easy, i'd be fine, but having to go to work? i can't sleep, i'm up all crazy hours, i feel miserable, i really shouldn't be around people. i'm afraid to start throwing up, but maybe i should just go do it and see if i feel better. i can't see, i can't think, my stomach is in knots, i'm still having crazy UC symptoms -- i feel worse than i did when i was in the hospital, and I don't have the luxury of taking more days off to sit around and wait to feel better. fuck. and this is the worst freaking timing too -- my scenario game i'm producing is this weekend, and Friday I need to do all the pregame setup, sleep over my teammates' house, then go all out saturday to rock the house. i can't be up at 3 am taking over their bathroom the night before the game. i should probably get a hotel room so i only make myself miserable :)

dammit. at least by friday i'll be done with flagyl. then it'll just be prednisone, which at 30 mg i'm not sure if it is contributing to the misery or not. i'm ok having roid rages as long as i'm not nauseous or having this insane stomach pain. i start remicade hopefully on the 11th, which i think means i don't have to take the pred past that date. i hope i never have to take flagyl ever ever ever again. this drug is evil. i'm not sure whether to eat, throw up, or eat something with the intention to throw it up. anything to just MAKE. THIS. STOP.