Mortality as a gift

i'm feeling so good today (aside from back spasms, etc). When I was depressed and miserable for so long with UC, I totally forgot how good life can feel. I'm having a great day, like the clouds have lifted. Remicade is a miracle.

Then there's the little voice... what happens when it stops working? what happens if i get lymphoma or some blood disorder? what if I go back to being sick?

there's only one answer for that: well, better take advantage of NOW then :)

Realizing that you are mortal and do not have infinite time to waste is pretty liberating, once you get past some of the sadness. What would you do if you knew the day you would die? Would you waste your time on pointless drama and energy vampires, or would you tell those folks to fuck off and go do what you want?

and that's why i have pink hair right now :)