things i love

i love my heating pad. i'm at work only because i have this baby with me. yesterday i had a good day, but today i am in tremendous pain. i kinda wish i had two heating pads, one for my tummy and one for my back. my left side spot is getting kicked to hell by whatever demon lives in my intestines. i need an exorcism.

i love my ipod touch. i have a great app for logging my glucose readings, the bn ebook reader, the kindle reader, cbs sports, facebook, games, etc. I do alot of reading when my UC is active, and this is a lot more discrete than carrying books around with me.

i love my truck. this morning i was getting all down on myself and wondering what all this working is for. i feel like all i do is work to pay bills. i'm surrounded by people on public assistance, and sometimes i wonder if i should just throw in the towel and join their ranks. but i love my truck - it's a 2004 jeep liberty and it's purple and it's mostly mine. 3 more years and it's totally mine. if i didn't work, i'd still be driving that busted old elantra with the 2 hamster-power engine. so there's that. i love everything about my truck. the headlights, the color, the way it handles, the cargo room, the way the seats fold down, the way the back door opens. i love that i can open the glass only and leave the gate shut. i love the tire on the back, so when maniacs tailgate me, i hope the tire might offer some protection if they hit me (and the maniac might get a tire in their face). sometimes i think about getting one of those bike racks that attach to the tire, just to get folks to backadafuckup, but I don't have a bike :)

i love percoset. if i had any sick days left for the year, i woulda taken two of them and gone back to bed today. merry christmas to me.

i love my heated throw. we had the traditional present-stealing game with my husband's family for hanukkah, and this is like the bestest swap gift ever. i was so happy no one stole it from me. there was also a snuggie up for grabs, so that got more attention. but my god, i love this throw. it's somewhere between an electric blanket and a heating pad. it doesn't get as warm, but it's sooo comforting. i've been such a big baby lately. i'm so sad and miserable. i feel like nothing is ever going to be ok again. then i curl up with my blankie, and my kitty, and my knitting, and relax. the cat loooooves the blanket -- she contorts herself to get as much belly contact with the blanket when it's on, soaking up the warmth like sunshine. she loves sitting in my lap anyway, but the blanket acts like a hammock, so she can sleep on my lap in new and different ways. she's so happy it makes me happy to look at her. nothing bad exists in her world when she's on my lap with the warm blanket. her bliss is contagious.

i love my knitting. it's like a meditation. the more i knit, the less i can google symptoms, or research treatment options, or think about unpleasant stuff. my hands are busy, my creative brain is engaged, my logic brain is off. the yarn feels nice in my hands, and i feel proud of whatever little thing is developing in my lap. i get to take a tangle of string, and make something out of it, and it's amazing how people watch and compliment such a tiny thing. total strangers say such nice things about the simplest project, and i don't know, i've seen people get happy and excited to give me a compliment about my knitting. it's weird, maybe it reminds people of their nana that knit, or it's cute to see someone knitting something by hand when you could go to target and get a hat for $5. it's quaint and unusual. then i like to give away the stuff i knit -- this christmas is all about hand knitted things. i can't believe how much i knit in the last 2 months. a pair of wristwarmers for chickie, a scarf for mom, a shawl for mom in law, a hat for sister's boyfriend, a hat for sister's boyfriend's kiddo, a hat for husband, a hat for me (which was supposed to be a hat for husband, but was a lesson on how NOT to knit argyle, and is already unraveling), a sweater and hat for husband's cousin's baby, a hat for poppop, a hat for my uncle, a beret for my aunt, wristwarmers for me (frogged), a hat for me (tempted to frog). i'm waiting for new needles to make fingerless gloves for husband, and in the meantime i'm thinking of starting the wristwarmers for myself again. i bought this awesome alpaca yarn, and met the actual alpaca that made it!

i love llamas. she was so cute, and she had her little month old baby with her when we went to the farm store to buy the yarn. it's from berry meadow farm -- they save the fleece from each animal each year, and once there is enough, have it all spun into yarn. so you can pet the hanks and see which alpaca it came from. it's so cool. there's another cool llama farm by me that has suri llamas and alpacas, wools edge, where i got the yarn for my mom's scarf and my hat. it's soooo soft and silky. i usually work in easy-care for yarns, like acrylic and wool-ease, so that everything can go in the wash. especially baby stuff. don't see a point in making a baby blanket out of something that needs to be hand-washed -- gotta make things simple for mamma. plus, i'd rather the blanket be durable enough to get tossed in the washer and dryer, and dragged around, and spit up on, and washed again, rinse repeat. speaking of, i gotta get started on more blankets.