day 9

today sucked. my attempts to get things moving worked too well. then i couldn't stop. now there's bleeding again. dammit. and lots of pain. i took a nulev at lunch, stayed in because i was afraid to go out. had a few good hours at home, then was sick twice while trying to eat dinner. took another nulev. now drinking wine cause i need something enjoyable.

energy is good though, for being up since 4 am. brought wine into the house, took clothes out to my truck to be donated, brought rest of the wine into the house, set up the new wine rack, made dinner. as soon as i stopped, agony. fucking disease is really inconvenient.

tried adding back green beans today. i read something that it can take 3 weeks to see results. was that 3 weeks or 3 months? i'm gonna have to search my history. either way, i'm sticking it out. i don't want to go on steroids, i don't want surgery. i guess if i'm still having sucky days like this on a regular basis 3 months from now, i'll ask for the pred. but i really don't want to. i was in remission before, what happened!? i wasn't this bad when i was diagnosed. fuck.

so i didn't work out, but i got sweaty so it counts :) hopefully the dietician agrees tomorrow