stealing happy

i used to think that people who went around happy all the time were either stupid, on drugs, or full of shit and just really good at hiding their negative feelings. and for the most part, that's true. but i'm realizing to that sometimes the most transgressive thing you can do in this world is be happy. life throws crap at you, you're at the lowest place on earth, you look up and go, "you know what, fuck you, i'm gonna be happy anyway!" and you are. and you do what makes you happy, and ignore the crap. it's difficult, and probably impossible to do all the time, but sometimes you just shake it off and go about your business.

there are people out there that love to complain about bullshit and bring you down with them. being sick has given me better perspective. and i'm not wasting my energy soothing the feathers of the easily-ruffled. you got a legit gripe, sure let's bitch about it. but some people are just whiners. and it makes me wonder how they got through life this far without something more important happening to them to give them some perspective. lucky bitches.

i'm not talking about the kind of happy that comes from stupidity and ignorance. there is plenty of that out there too. innocent happy is a different animal, but once it's gone, it's gone. i don't begrudge the young and innocent and naive. good for them. i mean the stubbornly stupid, the ones that should know better, and they're not being happy in spite of it all, they honestly don't know/ don't care. and these are also the ones that bitch about bullshit. fuck em.

i mean the ones that go through hell, and come out the other side, and still need to make trips into hell once in a while. we find a way to be happy anyway. a defiant happy. a "yes, these are silly unicorn and rainbows but i'm going to take the time to recapture some of that innocent happy I used to feel when i was five and was all about unicorns and rainbows." it's too easy to be miserable. it's strong to be silly and happy in spite of it all. there's a quote floating around out there that pain is inevitable, misery is optional. and i'm trying to keep that in mind. i'm going to laugh at my pain, laugh at my setbacks, laugh at the shadows and fears. Come get me. you can make me writhe in pain, you can trap me in the house for days on end, you can tear away my plans and hopes, but you can't make me stop laughing. no matter what you do to me, i'm going to be happy anyway.

kick out the gloom
kick out the blues
tear out the pages with all the bad news