relapse pity party

I knew the steroid-induced remission was likely temporary. i even referred to it as "fake remission" because I knew I couldn't take >20 mg steroids forever. but i'm still totally bummed out right now. i really hope the humira shot tonight makes a difference. that would be awesome.

i'm in a total relapse right now, even with 10 mg steroids. I just wanted enough to get through halloween, to enjoy my vacation from UC a little while longer. i'm hoping the shot tonight will give me the added boost to get through the weekend. if it does, that means we found the right med, even if we have to work out the dose. i may end up doing a shot once a week instead of every other week - my doc says this is pretty common since the dosing was studied on RA patients, and not UC patients. he thinks UC patients may need it more frequently.

if it doesn't work, he's going to refer me to a colleague of his in the city. i'm hoping it's not a surgical colleague, so far no one has said the S word. but if it is, hopefully he is associated with Mt Sinai, since that is one of the hospitals I'd want to go to if surgery ends up being the answer. after my experience in Local Hospital, I hope to never ever ever have to go there again for anything, definitely not a surgery that is fairly uncommon. i want the best i can reasonably afford - i'd hate to have complications and think it was due to me settling for the walmart of surgeons. i blame myself for everything with this damn disease.