this week has been so hard, i am sooo tired. i've gotten silly, like i'm too tired to be grouchy anymore. it's all just absurd and giggly. i can dig this.
i'm in so much pain though, i feel like someone is trying to rip my spine out, or like it's a wriggling serpent trying to escape on its own. but i guess this is better than yesterday - back pain vs abdominal pain, which one to choose? at least this one makes me get up and dance in place, instead of run down the hallway to the ladies room. yes, i have a spazzy little pain dance that i do in my cube to help shake the pain. doesn't really work for long, but it's all i've found that helps.
doc appointment is next friday, but he thinks i can start humira immediately. i should be able to get my loading dose on wednesday. they just have to check since I had remicade last week. then i get to stick myself 4 times, yippee! at least it'll be over quickly. i hear humira comes in prefilled syringes -- score! really hope this works.
so with all the drama from last week, i am no longer allowed to work from home. i need to just call out sick if i can't make it in and get docked at the end of the year. kind of a bummer, but i've just been getting worse and worse lately, this is a blessing in disguise. 4 months ago, my mind was sharp though my body was, um, occupied and anti-social. now the mind is worn out too. maybe it's just oxygen-deprived :) having the flu/cold/ninflu didn't help either, but i think i finally got over that. not coughing up as much stuff anymore. gotta go get a flu shot soon, then the swine flu shot as soon as it's ready.
it's funny, we had a meeting today because my boss is taking a trip to a city that has a few cases of swine flu floating around. there's apparently disaster recovery plans in place in case people start getting sick in our building too. everyone reassures themselves that it's not a big deal because we're all young and healthy. but i have "an underlying medical condition" *cue dramatic music* i do kinda sorta worry that the next flu/cold/infection I get will be a bit more serious, but i don't want to be nutso about it. every season we all pass around the same cold/flu/bug, especially the ones the parents catch from their kiddos. kiddos are a huge disease vector; good thing they are cute. i figure even if i got swine flu, i'm at the doctor so much that i'd get plenty of treatment and not die or anything, just be miserable for an extended amount of time. not like that's anything unusual for me, lol! oh well, time to build the bubblesuit :)
"can't hear you, i'm in my bubble!"
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