whole 30 complete

made it! 30 days no cheese, no grains, no booze, no beans, no dairy, no potatoes... just meat, veggies and nuts. i feel pretty good, and i admit i didn't got totally 100%, probably more like 80-90, but still, good for me!

the stats

most dramatic change was in blood glucose. average am wake up dropped from 150 to 90-100. stopped taking insulin because i was getting low readings! post-breakfast was around 120-150. highs never made it over 200. still taking metformin, but 1 daily instead of two. and of course, no insulin! basically, if i can keep this up, my a1c should be about a 6, possibly even lower over time.

with better glucose control comes better energy. more stable energy throughout the day. less moodiness. almost no cravings, which is awesome! first few weeks were the hardest, but i plowed through. and of course, the office is always full of tempting goodies, but i held firm. and ate carrots

for UC, definitely less active, but i think i need more than 30 days to see more changes/healing. so while i won't be doing whole30 anymore, i will still avoid grains/dairy and stay paleo

the good food

found great recipes and cooked like crazy. finally got my kitchen mostly in order and got into a routine. sunday is shopping/cooking day. due to limited options outside my kitchen, i cut back on going out, which is good for my gut and my wallet. didn't feel deprived very often, except at my cousin's bridal shower at an italian restaurant, that had a candy circus theme, and there were twizzlers and other goodies everywhere!

the bad food

i'm hooked on applegate farms salami, and it's not really kosher for whole30. I probably also ate too much bacon. i used almond butter on celery, which has added sugar and is not ok for whole30. but it was good and i made sure not to overindulge. i made a delicious trail mix of sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, almonds and raisins, that was cool for whole30 but killed me due to UC. i cooked with wine twice. i had manhattan clam chowder once and ate the potatoes that were in it. there was probably butter involved in a few of the lunches/dinners out, but i tried to make the best choices without being that crazy lady that makes 100 requests. having done both atkins and scd before, i did not want to be that lady ever again. luckily, whole30 is easier than both of those. paleo is even more forgiving. i also weighed myself, which you are also not supposed to do.

and i forgot, no beans! which means no soy. and i totally had chinese food once which probably used soy and/or cornstarch. ok, so chinese food and japanese food are definitely tough places to go on paleo, especially sushi. i mean, i do like sashimi, but without soy sauce? no sushi? no rolls at all? i think i'll have to make a rare exception to indulge in some sushi or chinese food and really enjoy it, rather than try to healthify it and make it suck.

the weight

yup, apparently for me, it's easier to avoid simple carbs than to avoid the scale. i ended up losing 13 lbs overall, and i do wish it were more. but honestly, i was never really hungry. i ate well and usually my "hunger" was just cravings for crap, emotional eating, or bored eating. not being able to shove something convenient in my face made me think more about why i wanted to eat. if i were truly hungry, i'd eat something on plan. basically, i treated myself like my cats when they get picky about their food: when you get hungry enough, you'll eat it.

i probably eat too many eggs, but i have finally learned how to boil the suckers so they are easy to peel.

day 31

at the end of my 30 days, i actually did not run out to burger king and eat 5 italian chicken sandwiches like I thought i would. but i did find out how easy it was to go back to old bad habits and how quickly i felt like crap again. it started innocently enough, breakfast was the usual hard boiled eggs. then at lunch i had chicken alphabet soup, a pizza burger, and sweet potato fries. girl at work brought in cookies, so I had 2. in the afternoon, i felt snacky, so i had twizzler nibs out of the vending machine. went to the movies, ate twizzlers. dinner was manhattan clam chowder with potatoes, disco fries, another pizza burger (because i couldn't think of what else i wanted), chocolate pudding. i ate until i wanted to puke. ewwwwwwww

the next day I felt kinda icky, but not that bad. got mostly back on track, but felt kinda wacked out all day.

saturday, i woke up nauseous. ate applesauce. hit the road for paintball, stopped in wendy's and had egg/cheese/bacon on a bagel. it was pretty yummy. ate nuts, ham, salami, and apple during the day, went buck wild at night. went to texas roadhouse and they have hot rolls on the table, with cinnamon butter. ate like 3 of those. ordered ribs, half-slab, and a baked sweet potato. with butter, cinnamon and brown sugar. awwww yeah, carb-bender.

woke up feeling like crap today, guts NOT HAPPY. mood is shit. depressed all freaking day. weepy and crying and basically being stupid. eventually motivated myself enough to cook for the week. figured i could have a beer while cooking. all i have is wheat beer. I drank like half before i felt absolutely horrid, like I had been poisoned. ugh, nothing like learning the hard way.

the next 30

so heading into the next chapter, i'll be sticking with paleo and adding back some cheese to see how that goes. i really miss feta. i'm thinking next week making some spinach and feta quiche for breakfasts. cut down on the deli meat stuff. got celery and almond butter for yummy snacks. gonna try to put together a trail mix that doesn't blow up my guts. going to continue experimenting with booze because I love drinking but don't love feeling sick. more meats and veggies. maybe try thai next week, i'm in sort of a mexican rut. made barbacoa last week and this week and have a guac and pico de gallo addicition.

still struggling with fish. i mean, i love fish, but i fail at cooking it. and it stinks up the kitchen something fierce. and i feel bad nuking the leftovers at work. i got trout for this week, but maybe next week i'll just blacken the hell out of some catfish.

le menu

breakfast: hard boiled eggs
elevensies: celery with almond butter or salami/ham/turkey from applegate farms
lunch: burrito bowl with romaine, barbacoa, pico de gallo, salsa verde and guacamole
snack: carrots or nuts

Monday dinner: steelhead trout
Tuesday dinner: leftover trout
wednesday dinner: lamb
thursday dinner: kielbasa
friday dinner: steak

resurrection

for an english major, i am seriously terrible at writing on a regular basis. but i should've been writing all this stuff down lately. might as well start now.

well, 150 6mp got me feeling more like a normal human for awhile. then in august 2011 i started flaring again, and the steroids didn't fix it. then my wbc bottomed out, and i had to stop 6mp completely. and a bunch of personal life-rearrangment happened.

now i live in a new apt with my cats, and with my sister and her insane cats.

after emotionally eating my way through the holidays and the start of 2012, i started doing the whole 30 challenge to reboot myself and try eating paleo-style. no grains, no dairy, no beans, no alcohol. i'm not being as strict as i probably should, but it's much better than the sunny doodles and mcdonalds diet i had been following.

anyway, 3 weeks in and my glucose levels are good enough that taking insulin puts me too low. so that's pretty awesome. not feeling bloated and gross, and spending last time in the bathroom. still having some truly awful days, but i'm hoping this way of eating will help the UC. one of the major proponents put himself in remission through this way of eating. in any case, it can't hurt. and it's easier than SCD. damn, what a pain in the ass that was

saw dr awesome on 2/13 - he let me go back on 6mp, 75 mg/day. not talking surgery, which is awesome. trying 5-asa again (lialda - 3 big horse pills a day) and possibly cimzia if i'm not getting anywhere.

eczema is acting up like crazy, wish i could figure out why. not sure if it's from the diet change, drug change, or weather changes. hope it clears up before my cousin's wedding - my dress is strapless

so i'm in the process of unfucking my life one area at a time. first, eating better. next, writing more. soon, regular exercise. i'm ridiculously weak. i can barely keep up when my friends fast walk. plus i need to be able to lift my 500 lb cast iron pan with 1 hand. i almost dropped my crockpot full of delicious chicken soup last week. and eventually, unfucking my habitat. everything is still in boxes. it looks like hoarders up in here

Hello raincloud

The all-consuming sadness has returned. That feeling that I'll never be happy again. How can I still feel like this when spring is here and meds are keeping me in remission? Am I somehow immune to joy?

tired

i'm so tired, i just want to cry. my muscles ache. i went home after work last night and passed out until this morning. and my husband seemed so annoyed at me and made me feel guilty for sleeping so much. great, i'm disappointed in myself and apparently aggravating him too. great way to start the day.

week 1 review

so far so good. staying away from dangerous temptations like thai food, indian food, and chipotle. sometimes, i think i just want guac, but I don't think I can go there and walk out without a burrito... mmmm barbacoa goodness, i miss you!

still zombied out most mornings. totally brain foggy and everything aches. but i'm so much better than i was before. had a bunch of caffeine and felt like myself again yesterday, but now today my tummy is unhappy. i'll save caffeine for special occasions :)

but i'm at work, with my heating pad on my lap, happily enjoying being rather normal. i'm pretty proud of myself for maintaining full time employment during this whole travail. the last solid week off I've had was my week in the hospital in May 2009. nice to see my bull-headed stubbornness as an asset instead of a flaw for once. but i am really looking forward to taking an actual vacation next year :)

remission

yup. off steroids. off enemas. off 5-asa. just 6mp now.

i slept allllll day so i decided today would be day 1. yesterday i had a huge headache that started over my right eye, so i took tylenol, then percocet when that didn't work. woke up later with a headache all around my head like a crown of thorns. passed back out. finally woke up at 4:30 feeling ok. flopped around the house having bad memories and sad thoughts. then picked up a new knitting project that is going along ok. it's gonna get felted, so it's a great project to make mistakes and say eff it and leave the mistakes in place. i needed a mindless project for today.

so i'm gonna keep taking it easy, get back into being a good diabetic and getting my blood sugars back in line. gonna enjoy not taking pred anymore. i already feel less crazy and less bloated. i dropped 20 lbs. 15 to go to get under 200, then 10 more to get back to pre-pred weight, then 20 after that to get to about as close to my goal weight as i think i'll be able to get.

gonna keep not overdoing the caffeine and booze. no need to overwork my liver and pancreas. i think i had food poisoning or something last weekend. i barfed for 3 days straight. everything i ate came right back up, i called it trampoline tummy. my stomach and i finally agreed on eating some watermelon, but when i went to lay down, the trampoline kicked in and i projectile vomited all over our hotel room bathroom. so much for a romantic weekend away. maybe next weekend i'll make up for it. it's my 5 year anniversary, and if all goes well, it'll be my 1 week remission anniversary too.

yay me! :)

blarg

i like the not eating and losing weight aspect of this thing. i've always struggled with eating too much. i've never experienced the opposite. is this how skinny people normally feel? no wonder they can't put it away like i can. it's pretty bitchin... i'm down to 215, though most of that is still pred weight and should have been easy to lose. 25 to go until i'm back at pre-steroid weight, then another 20 to get to 2005 hottie weight. I don't think I can get much under 170 without involving amputations or giving up butter. and life without butter is not living.

the annoying thing though is i am such a picky eater now. and i'm getting afraid to eat yummy things. last night i ordered indian food from a place I ate at before without problems. even their mild food is spicy to me now. i got this awesome chicken gassi -- like a coconut/tamarind curry sauce... omg so good! and after a few bites was like, i probably shouldn't eat this anymore. so i moved on to the goat biryani. also incredibly good! but again, too spicy for my paranoia. the lentils and tandoori chicken that hubs got looked good, but were spicier than what i had already eaten (according to his palate, which tolerates much hotter stuff than mine!). so i didn't want to eat those either. so i had some naan and decided i wasn't hungry anymore.

and was sick all night again anyway.

sigh. so today, i had a muffin around noon, because i was kinda getting hungry. now it's 5, and i have heartburn and nausea. how can i get nauseous when there should be the perfect amount of foodstuff in me?! not too much, not too little, a fricking blueberry muffin causes heartburn? gah.

i have no idea what to eat tonight. i'll probably just get soup somewhere. i've been day dreaming about making a big ol pot of my chicken/veggie soup, even though it is 90 bazillion degrees outside. my mom put the idea in my head, she loves my soup. i would love like a vacation where all i do is sleep in my house and make home-cooked meals. i love cooking, but just don't have enough energy to work and cook. can i take maternity leave and baby myself for a few weeks?